don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
