Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
