HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
