Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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