Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
