Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize