who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
