people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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