Do you still have your period?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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