everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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