Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
