well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
