people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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