I wish i was in the wii world.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
