Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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