i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
