Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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