Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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