No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
