I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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