thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
