Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
