I'm pants shitting drunk right now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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