he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
