I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
