I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
PANTIES FOUND
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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