I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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