oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize