He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
