Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
