your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize