I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
