i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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