Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
