I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
