4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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