Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
