I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My cat gives me a boner
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
