I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
