where am i from again
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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