there's paper in my vomit.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
