i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
