We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
