Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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