If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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