u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
