I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
