just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize