She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
