I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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