wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All the doctor said was why
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
