At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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