Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
