I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
