Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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