i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
