Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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