College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
