new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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