Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
