You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
