just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize