yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize