shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
