i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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