she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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