Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize